"For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control."

-2 Timothy 1:7

September 9th, 2024

Location: Salida, Colorado, USA

Greetings from the wilderness!

It's so gorgeous up here at 9200ft of elevation in the forest, and I've been taking advantage of the view and privacy with some major outdoor self-care—in the buff.

As a kid, my Mom used to call me "Jenn Ross" because I loved to paint with Bob on TV. I still do! It took me a long time to get to a place with my art where I could enjoy the process of creating without the burden of attachment to the outcome.

I've been exploring art as a spiritual discipline, turning my creativity into intimate communion with God. Sometimes, it's adults coloring books and crayons or creating earth altars with foraged mushrooms. For those who have been on our Instagram, you know that I've been painting again.

And I'm not just painting the landscape—happy trees and fluffy clouds— I'm painting my prayers. I am exploring the meditative practice of applying paint to canvas in unplanned sequence and form. Playing with color and texture to connect with the Holy Spirit, and letting His words come out through my brush.

Painting naked in the forest feels vulnerable but also gives me a sense of freedom to create and express myself. While I was painting this past Saturday, I was feeling unusually exposed and self-conscious—unhappy about my aging and scarred body. I was feeling embarrassed at the thought of people seeing me, convinced they would look at me like a crazy old lady and laugh. My childhood bullies immediately came to mind.

Then I heard God speak...

He said, "What if they see a woman liberated?" I sat with those words for another layer of paint. As I was twirling a third vibrant hue onto the canvas, the seeds of those words sprouted to life in my heart.

Liberated from what, God? He answered—fear. Fear of others' opinions and the unknown future. He was reminding me that I was given the Spirit of power, love, and self-control. Not fear.

My spirit was lifted, and I had a vision of myself as a young girl looking down from the ridge at my adult self, dancing naked in a giant sun hat while painting nude in the forest. My younger self saw a woman living in reckless abandon—a woman liberated from fear, living fully in her God-given passions without regard for convention, appearances, the opinions of others, and the rules of "sensible" behavior.

I AM a liberated woman.

Jennifer

PS- Did you miss a part of the journey? Check out the 🌎 Notes from the Wilderness blog posts in the Loto Journal to catch up.

A recent op-ed in The Atlantic, cited these statistics about Americans ages 25-54: The percentage of people who say they don’t have close friends has increased fourfold since 1990. More than half of Americans say that no one knows them well.

I’m here to tell you that virtual community can be a lifeline for many of us feeling isolated and lonely. If you are want to feel seen and live in community with like-minded people, consider attending one of our online events or in-person retreats, and join our virtual community, The Collective 🪷, on Facebook and WhatsApp.