“See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.” - ‭‭Isaiah‬ ‭43‬:‭19‬ ‭NIV‬‬

📍Location: Denver, Colorado, USA 🇺🇸

Dear friends,

We expect to feel grief when we experience a loss—a job, a loved one, a dream. However, grief is also a part of change, and change is an inevitable part of life, yet it often comes with a heavy heart. I’m currently embarking on a significant transition, leaving behind the comfort of the familiar to step into the adventure of a global digital nomad lifestyle. This shift has brought a mix of excitement and sorrow as I grieve the life I once knew and anticipate the unknown future.

The Pain of Letting Go

Leaving behind my routine and the comfort of a stable living environment is no small feat (if this were easy, more people would be doing it). The neighborhood where I live close to my church community and family and the cozy corners of my home that have held countless memories over the last 12 years (like sunsets on my patio and my prayer garden)—these are the pieces of my life that I am mourning right now. The comfort of the familiar provided a sense of security and belonging, and now, stepping away from it feels like losing a part of myself.

In the midst of packing boxes and saying goodbyes, I find myself grappling with a profound sense of loss. It's as if the ground beneath me is shifting, and my world as I know it is exploding. This is the essence of grief—not just in losing loved ones, but in saying farewell to phases of our lives that have shaped us.

While I am excited about this major lifestyle shift, I must be honest about the hardships that accompany it. Since the passing of my sweet chihuahua, Lola, last year, I've been learning the importance of sitting with my grief and not attempting to numb my way past it in an attempt to spare myself from hard feelings.

The Stages of Grief

Understanding the stages of grief can help us navigate this complex process. These stages, though not always experienced linearly, provide a framework for acknowledging and processing our emotions:

1. Denial: Initially, we might find it hard to accept the change. We might tell ourselves, "This isn't really happening," or try to go about our days as if nothing has changed. Denial is a defense mechanism that helps us survive the initial shock.

2. Anger: As reality sets in, we might feel anger towards ourselves, others, or even the situation itself. "Why is this happening to me?" is a common question. Anger can be a way to mask the pain, giving us something tangible to hold onto.

3. Bargaining: In this stage, we may find ourselves making deals with God or with ourselves in an attempt to regain some control. We might think, "If only I had done this differently, things wouldn't be changing."

4. Depression: The full weight of the loss can hit us, leading to feelings of sadness, loneliness, and hopelessness. It's important to allow ourselves to feel this pain and seek support if needed.

5. Acceptance: Finally, we reach a stage where we can acknowledge the change and begin to move forward. Acceptance doesn't mean the pain is gone, but it signifies that we are ready to embrace the new reality.

The Importance of Grieving

Grieving over change is essential. It's a process that allows us to honor what once was, making space for what will be. Ignoring or suppressing these feelings can hinder our ability to fully embrace the future. In grieving, we acknowledge the significance of the past, giving ourselves permission to feel sorrow, confusion, and even anger.

"I sat with my anger long enough until she told me her real name was grief."

— C.S. Lewis

Grieving is not a sign of weakness but a testament to the depth of our experiences and the love we have for what we are leaving behind. It is through this process that we can begin to heal and make room for new joys and opportunities.

A Lament to God

In my moments of sorrow, I've been turning to God, pouring out my heart in a lament. Lamenting is a powerful way to express our deepest pains and to seek comfort in God's presence.

Here is one I recently created:

Oh Lord, my heart is heavy, and my spirit is weary.

I mourn the loss of the familiar, the safe, and the known.

The places and faces that brought me comfort now feel distant,

And I feel like I am floating in a sea of unknowns.

Yet, I trust in Your plan and Your timing.

In my grief, I seek Your solace, Your strength, and Your guidance.

Hold me in Your arms, Lord, as I navigate this unknown path.

Grant me the courage to embrace the new with an open heart,

And the grace to mourn what I have lost.

Heal my grieving heart, and help me to find joy in the journey ahead.

If you are facing a season of change, I encourage you to write your own lament to God. Let your words flow freely, expressing all the emotions that swell within you. Bring your grieving heart to Jesus, for He is the healer of our souls. In His presence, we can find comfort and hope, knowing that He is with us every step of the way.

"Come close to God, and God will come close to you." - James 4:8 NLT

We worship a merciful and faithful God, and we can trust that He is still at work in and through us, even amidst our grief. Grieving is a sacred process. It's a way to let go of what was, making space for the joy of what will be. As we allow ourselves to mourn, we open our hearts to the healing work of God. Embrace your grief, lean into Their love, and step forward with the assurance that new adventures await, filled with the promise of Their Presence and grace.

Finding Joy in the Journey

As I shift into my new lifestyle, I remind myself that grieving is not the end, but a bridge to a new beginning. The sorrow of letting go intertwines with the thrill of the unknown, and I hold onto the belief that joy will find its way into this new chapter.

This digital nomad lifestyle brings its own set of adventures and blessings, and as I make peace with the past, I open my heart to the present moment. Through the process of inviting God into my grieving and healing, I find the strength to embrace the journey ahead, knowing that God is with me, guiding me into a future filled with Their faithful promises.

May you find the courage to grieve and the strength to hope. Let us walk this path together, trusting in the beauty that lies beyond the horizon.

In Him,

Jennifer

PS- If you would like to follow along on our travels around the globe, be sure to sign up for weekly Loto Letters, follow Loto on Instagram, and connect with me and the rest of the Loto community via The Collective on WhatsApp or Facebook.