Hearts of Stone
"Wilderness is not a luxury but a necessity of the human spirit." - Edward Abbey
August 26th, 2024
Greetings from the wilderness,
As hurting humans, it's so easy to compartmentalize our pain and the methods we use to heal. Feeling depressed? Talk to your therapist. Have sciatica? See your chiropractor. Spiritually thirsty? Meet with your pastor. While all of these options are the right course of action, how often are we taking a holistic look at our lives to address how pain shows up in us as a whole- mind, body, and spirit?
It's taken me years of learning and coaching to begin to address my health in this big-picture way. My greatest takeaway is that nothing happens to us emotionally that doesn't also affect our bodies, including pain. The brain doesn't discriminate between types of pain, broken legs or broken hearts (check out The Body Keeps the Score). When we feel hurt emotionally, our brain stores those feelings in our bodies (especially when there is trauma), and in response, we harden our hearts against more hurt. In doing so, we dull our eyes and ears to the indwelling Spirit (Matthew 13:14-15), who has made a home in our hearts (2 Corinthians 1:22).
Our hearts of stone see things through the lens of hurt and are not always honest (Jeremiah 17:9). And if you've been following along on my digital nomad journey so far (see last week's blog post), you know that I am actively seeking a new heart (Ezekiel 36:26) that is softer and less angry. To do so, I have to begin by being honest about where I'm at, to myself, to God, and to others (Proverbs 28:13-14).
As I said last week, living in the wilderness (both figuratively and literally) is showing me how much anger I've been denying in my conscious thoughts (numbing), how much anger I've been storing in my body and ignoring (chronic pain), and how hard my heart has become as a result (lacking receptivity); all of which make it challenging to connect fully with the Living God inside me (Hebrews 4:12).
I have to approach this anger holistically: I am addressing the source by talking with my therapist, releasing the stored emotions through somatic (body-based) healing techniques, and asking God to create in me a new heart and right spirit (Psalms 51:10) so that I can experience Him more fully— able to receive His grace and mercy without self-condemnation. I am trusting in the places I lack understanding (Proverbs 3:5) and drawing near to the Creator in all of my brokenness (Psalms 34:18).
This wilderness season was so necessary for me in so many ways. I asked for God to bring the necessary change into my life, which is precisely what I am getting— mind, body, and spirit.
Thank you for your prayers,
Jennifer
PS- Did you miss a part of the journey? Check out the 🌎Notes from the Wilderness blog posts in the Loto Journal to catch up.
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Images of the brightest full (end-to-end) 🌈🌈 I have ever seen after a rainstorm in Salida, CO.
